FAQ: how do I get my children to eat veggies?

Dear Mamas and Papas whose children fuss over eating vegetables,

I feel your pain! My six year old would rather eat his own hand than munch on the rainbow of veggies on our table but here's the answer: Don't give up!

Essentially that is the sum total of the answer but I know you're looking for more than that so here goes...

Take a look at your own attitude to food. Do you love sweet food? Chocolate? Cake? Is eating veggies a struggle for you too? Our actions speak much louder than our words so part of the key is for your child to see you eating and enjoying vegetables - regularly.

Grow your own. Plant some food and involve your children. Kids love to get their hands dirty and the main part of the fun of a veggie garden is picking the result. Even if it is just herbs or strawberries in pots believe kids will love it and it will help open up their minds and tastebuds to eating the good stuff. Stephanie Alexander's Kitchen Garden Foundation is great evidence and inspiration for this point.

Involve your children in the food preparation. They are much more likely to try meals they have cooked themselves. Gather a stack of cookbooks and let your children choose some recipes they'd like to cook with you - the recipes have to of course include veggies.

Your best friend is the grater and your next best friend is the blender. Ideally we don't want to be hiding the good stuff at every meal but the reality is to get the nutrition into some little blighters we have to grate in 10 veggies to spaghetti bolognaise and blend in the baby spinach to a monster green juice made sweet with frozen banana and coconut water.

Stay cool as a cucumber. For some kids and parents food becomes a power play. This is not good for anyone's digestion. One approach is the grown up decides 'when and what' will be eaten and the child decides 'how much'.

Try a different texture. Some kids will eat raw carrot. Some kids like it cooked. Some like it grated in a sandwich. Sometimes, it all comes down to texture. Don't do backflips trying to please your child but at different meals offer the 'offending' vegetable in a different format and see what happens.

Make sure your kids have an appetite at meal times. If you have a child who like to 'graze' ie. eat all day, when meal time rolls around they will have no hunger, no reason, no motivation to eat what is served. My son went to a Steiner kindergarten and the teacher there was a grandmother who encouraged us young mums to map our mealtimes out like this: breakfast, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner.

Read French Kids Eat Everything by Karen Le Billon. It is a fabulous true story of a North American family that moves to Le Billon's husband's families rural village in France and transitions their young children from carb loving, cake munching kiddos to veggie loving souls. Karen tells their story with such good humour and practical advice you can't help fall in love with it and be filled with hope and inspiration that you too can do this in your own home.

Keep a food diary for a week. This will give you a really accurate picture of what your child is eating and whether you really need to get yourself so worked up! :)

Make a 2 fruit 5 vegetable chart. This can be a great way of engaging young children in eating well. Some kids are really motivated by stickers and visual charts. Design it any way you wish. Explain to your children the aim is for them to eat 2 pieces of fruit each day and 5 serves of vegetables (for children that's about 2 and a half cups) and they can stick a sticker on the chart for each serve they eat. Ideally it should be a rainbow of fruit and vegetables, lots of different colours.

Don't worry. It will all be ok. My mother in law says that when she was raising my husband she was convinced for the rest his life he would only eat sausages, mashed potato and peas because that was all he would eat enthusiastically as a child. Of course as an adult he eats absolutely everything. Like many things in childhood, kids go through stages and as long as parents can remain positive and light hearted about things the stage will pass.

For more info, tips and inspiration on handling fussy eaters take a look at naturopath and mum of 2, Georgia Harding's fantastic blog: Well Nourished. Here's a good post to get you started.

If you are really concerned about your child's eating behaviour or nutrition do seek professional advice from a paediatrician or naturopath.

thursday recipe: carrot, poppyseed and orange muffins

I'm doing everything I can at the moment to get more vegetables into Sol (my youngest who is almost five), including putting them into cakes and muffins!

I know that this isn't the ideal way to consume vegetables but these muffins do make for a delicious snack with at least some vegetable goodness.

After I baked this batch I put them in the freezer to add to River and Sol's lunchbox during the week.

River who is not usually a fan of muffins came home from school and asked "Do you have anymore of those things you made with the poppy seeds?" and Sol happily ate his for morning tea too.

Based on this success I thought I'd give carrot and zucchini cake a go. So far that has failed to win fans in the way that these muffins have. Back to the kitchen.

Aside from standing on your head and singing a song about carrots, how are you enticing reluctant veggie eaters in your house?

Carrot, poppyseed and orange muffins

Ingredients

2 cups spelt flour (I used one cup white, one cup wholemeal because that's what I had)
2 teaspoons aluminium free baking powder
1/2 cup coconut or rapadura sugar
1 tbsp poppyseeds
1 cup grated carrot
2 eggs, whisked
1/2 cup oil (almond, macadamia or if you need nut free I have used olive oil. You could use coconut oil but I haven't tried it with that)
3 tbsp freshly squeezed orange juice
zest of one orange

To make

Pre heat the oven to 180 degrees.
In a large mixing bowl place spelt flour, baking powder, sugar and poppyseeds and stir to combine.
In a separate bowl mix whisked eggs, oil and orange juice.
Add liquids to dry ingredients along with the carrot and orange zest.
Stir to combine.
Spoon mixture into greased muffin tray and cook for 15-20 minutes or until brown and cooked through when tested with a metal skewer inserted into the centre.

feel the fear and cook it anyway

I am writing this for all the mamas who cook with a knot of anxiety in their stomachs and hearts each night. Wondering as they cook, will they eat it? Will there be tears or tantrums?

For the sake of peace and sanity many mothers 'give in' to their children's food likes and dislikes. They bend and weave their way through feeding their children in the small hope that they just eat something.

Falling into the pattern of mono cooking can easily happen - pasta, meat and potatoes, pasta, rice, meat and potatoes - I understand how it happens, really I do. However, it isn't doing anyone any favours. It is so boring to cook this way when we live in a world with so much beautiful food variety, and it is not in any way encouraging our children to eat a wide variety of foods, particularly the all important vegetables. If you think of vegetables as nature's multivitamin pill it makes sense that to get the most nutrients we all need to eat a variety, not just the same two or three over and over. My friend Sally says, "we need to eat a rainbow." This is a good thing to teach and regularly remind our children.

My eldest son River (age 7) is willing to taste absolutely anything from broccoli to brussel sprouts to blue cheese to scallops whatever it is he will at the very least take a bite. When it comes to vegetables my other son, Sol (age 4) is not willing. "I'll eat vegetables when I'm five" he tells me. "I only like carrots in soup" he says.

Occasionally I find Sol's defiance challenging but most of the time I am not phased, I continue to put vegetables on his plate and in his lunchbox, I continue to cook a wide variety of meals with varied ingredients and flavours. Sol knows the dinner table rules, what is served is dinner and he can decide how much he eats and if he eats at all. There is always something on his plate that I know he eats.

Sure I still make their favorites - spag bol (with heaps of veggies grated in), chicken schnitzel and mash potato, home made fish and chips - but I also cook or prepare stews, soups, salads, sushi, rice paper rolls, homemade vegetable pies, tacos, homemade burgers, dahl, roasted meats and roasted vegetables and so on.

When I cook something they haven't tried before I sometimes involve them in the cooking process, this can increase the likelihood of them eating it. I always announce the meal to them with enthusiasm not hesitation and I casually plant the idea in their head that they will love it as I model to them how much I enjoy eating it. I want my sons to develop a taste for a wide variety of good food and they can't do that if I serve them the same thing over and over just because I know they will eat it.

If you've fallen into a bit of a pasta rut it is time to branch out and have another go at presenting a colourful array of vegetables to your family, to introduce some new flavours or ingredients. And to do so with enthusiasm, from a place of leadership not fear.

Can you relate to this post? Share your story in the comments.

is there any chicken?

Wednesday rolled by like any other wednesday. I picked River up from school and headed home to think about dinner. A friend had given us a very meaty freshly caught Australian salmon that Pete filleted and asked me to hunt through for bones - very fiddly work, but I wasn't complaining I was happy for FREE fresh fish.

Pete came up with the idea to turn the fillets into salmon patties made with mashed potato and fresh corn from our garden and beans from a local farmer. We also had an abundance of tomatoes from our garden that we made into bruschetta. A feast was set.

We've had salmon patties oh about a million times at least and they are usually well received eaten with a splodge of tomato sauce. On this very ordinary Wednesday night when the plates were placed on the table Sol looked down and with such hopefulness in his voice asked, "Is there any chicken?" (We had roast chicken the night before and meat is Sol's favorite). "No, there's no chicken. This is dinner tonight", replied Pete. This is about the point where dinner that night was turned on it's head and I had a very unwanted insight into what can happen in other households at meal times that has actually never happened to this degree in my house.

Sol burst into tears, big heart felt sobbing kind of tears. "I want some chicken" he wailed. Oh dear. My heart sank, my stomach flip flopped. I no longer felt like eating, for I knew that Sol's overwhelming emotional response was not going to be tolerated easily by Pete.

Sol pushed his plate away and came over to sit on my lap and cry some more and seek sympathy. Pete explained to Sol, "This is dinner tonight Sol you don't have to eat it if you don't want to but if you want to cry you will have to sit in your room." The crying and asking for something different to eat continued, "But I'm hungry!" he wailed.

Pete got up, extracted Sol from my lap and carried him calmly to his bedroom and told him to stay there until he finished crying. Sol being the determined character he is was not deterred and was back crying at the table within seconds.

I hadn't eaten a bite but dinner was over for me I felt so emotionally churned I couldn't eat. While I stand by our family rule that what is served at dinner is dinner and no alternatives are given, what I found difficult this night was the intensity of Sol's response. During the hour that this took place my mind was thinking about family's where this is a regular occurrence.

Ordinarily, even if the boys are not that thrilled with what we are having for dinner they will pick around the parts they don't particularly want, try bits and pieces or if they are really hungry they will actually endure eating the whole meal even if it is not their favorite. They have never been 'fussy' because they know it will not be tolerated and because we have explained to them that it is disrespectful to the good food we are fortunate to have and disrespectful to the care and time put in to make the meal. Plus they know that on another night they will get to have a dinner that is their favorite.

The main reason that Wednesday night dinner fell apart was because Sol was way over tired from having started kinder this term. Fifteen hours a week of being with 23 other four year olds, playing, making friends, finding his way in the crowd, listening to his teacher and then coming home and being expected to eat a not so favorite dinner well, it was all a bit too much. For everyone.

I shared the story with a friend and fellow kinder mum the next day and she said "Oh on the long kinder day we have egg and bacon rolls for dinner." Egg and bacon rolls she told me are her four year old's idea of comfort food. To my mind there seemed to be some merit to this approach.

The week after the Wednesday night dinner I thought about what my friend had said and I also thought about a poet I'd heard on the radio, a line in her poem rang in my head "Ice cream for dinner said no parent ever". Well, I decided in that moment that sometimes we parents (especially this parent) can take the whole eating well thing a little too seriously and there must be some lightness and playfulness too. So when River asked, "What's for dinner?" It gave me great joy to be able to say "Pancakes with mango and ice cream". Ok so they were buckwheat pancakes with coconut milk ice cream but it was fun and not at all what they expected me to say and I'm hoping that they will say, "Remember that time Mum let us have ice cream for dinner."

How do you handle tired children at dinner time? Do you ever eat breakfast for dinner?

back to basics: roasted vegetable salad

Are you caught in the trap? The trap of feeling like you have to come up with something new, something different, original every day to cook for your family? Or the trap of wanting to cook things that your children will eat and resisting cooking with what you have for fear they won't eat it? Well, fear not. As with so much in our modern life we could take a whole lot of pressure off ourselves if we followed the KISS principle and Keep It Simple Sista.

You know the story, you look in the fridge or the pantry and wonder 'what am I going to cook for dinner?' When there's only a few ingredients it can be tempting to think, 'I just need a few more ingredients to cook something that the family will eat' then you go out and buy those few and ingredients plus a swag of other foods you didn't intend to buy.

If you have some vegetables, some herbs/spices and protein you can make a meal, you don't need to go shopping and if you are thinking 'hmmm but X won't eat that' just cook the meal with what you have and give it a go, I'm guessing there will be at least one element of whatever dish you serve that each member of your family will enjoy.

For dinner last night I had taken out some flathead fillets from the freezer, what to have with it? In the fridge we had carrots, leek, broccoli, cauliflower, lettuce and cabbage plus potatoes in the cupboard. A roasted vegetable salad was perfect to go with the fish.

I chopped up the veggies into chunks and roasted them in the oven in melted butter and mixed dried herbs. While they were roasting I crumbed the fish, rolling it first in gluten free plain flour, dipping it in egg and then rolling it in rice crumbs. Then washed some mixed lettuce leaves that Pete picked from a local farm. Once the veggies were done I pulled them out to cool before tossing them through the salad leaves and heating the pan to cook the fish.

Pete whipped up a salad dressing using his 'whatever we have in the fridge and pantry wants to go together' recipe. In this case it was apple cider vinegar and a dash of sesame oil.

Good food doesn't need to be fancy or complicated, from just a few ingredients you can create a really wholesome nutritious meal. By working with what you have you minimise waste, save money (& time and petrol driving to the shops) and this mama thinks that teaching our children to appreciate what we have rather than seeking more or something different all the time is a good thing.

Of course if you have menu planning down pat you'll have all this covered, but even then remember it is ok to get back to basics, keep things simple and give things a go that last month someone didn't want to eat but this month they might.

How is the dinner hour at your house? Clean plates? Fussy eaters? Are you doing handstands to get them to eat good food? Tell us in the comments.

a recipe to cure fussy eaters

I am regularly asked by exasperated mamas for tips to deal with fussy eaters. I've written about this topic before but it is time to re-visit it. I don't have all the answers (sorry about that!) My boys aged 7 and 3 don't eat every variety of fruit and vegetable I put in front of them but they don't complain and they are willing to try everything, this is half the battle in my opinion.

Here are my latest thoughts on dealing with fussy eaters:

- for starters I don't like the term fussy eater. It is a label, a bit like telling a child they are clumsy if we refer to our child as a fussy eater we are affirming that. Being mindful of the words we choose can make a big difference.

- keep a well-stocked wholefood pantry and fridge minus processed snacks that will sabotage your greatest efforts to get your children to eat well. If children are going to snack, which most like to do, then nutrient dense snacks are important opportunities for getting fruit and veg into them, such as banana or berry smoothie, mashed avocado dip, carrot hummous, if your child likes soup that makes an excellent snack.

- a solid set of loving boundaries when it comes to food and eating - sit down to eat, no snacking before dinner, turn off all screens when eating, zero tolerance on complaining and whining when food is presented explain with love that you understand your child may not like X food but the meal was prepared with love and out of respect to the food and to the person who made it don't screw your face up or you will have to leave the table.

- a positive attitude - we have a children's picture book titled Jasper McFlee Will Not Eat His Tea written by Lee Fox, it is one of our favorites about a boy named Jasper who as the title suggests will not eat his tea, or any other meal for that matter. Jasper ends up at the doctors who tells him "you don't have to like food you just have to try it". Jasper works on trying all kinds of foods and by the end of the book he is eating up all his meals. I know it can get tedious but remaining positive and encouraging is important "good on you for trying it perhaps next time you will like it more."

- remember - this too shall pass. Unless you are an adult fussy eater :) your child will grow out of this. Young children love hearing stories about their parents childhood, talk to them at mealtimes about foods that you loved when you were a child and also foods that you were resistant to but then tried and found out you liked them and now are some of your favorites - for me one of those foods is mangos!

The Wellness Mama has written an excellent, lengthy and detailed post on this topic. I particularly love her 'one bite' approach where she serves one bite of each dinner item (one bite of green bean, one bite of sweet potato and one bite of chicken) once the bites are all eaten more food can be served. Genius! This encourages tasting which is important for developing the sense of taste and developing an attitude of openness to trying new things which is key along with having a healthy appetite.

Excellent ideas also to be found on the Better Health Channel.

Some hard questions to ask yourself...

Am I a fussy eater?

Do I give my child only the foods I know he/she will eat because I don't want to deal with their emotional responses?

Do I keep buying nutritionally empty foods because "they are the only foods my child will eat"?

Could I stop buying those foods and explain to my child that those foods are made in a factory and don't help build a strong and healthy body and brain?

Does the thought of my child going hungry feel so mean that I give them what they want to eat?

Could we start eating as a family and turn off screens at least a few meals a week?

How could I involve my children more in meal preparation?

Share your thoughts and experiences. We are all in this one together. Leave a comment, your tip might just make another mamas life that bit easier or your experience might help them to see they are not alone with this challenge.

are fussy eaters born or made?

In my opinion fussy eaters are made. From toddlers to teenagers (and some adults too!) food can become a power play that sees parents and children do a dance around the dinner table that ends in tears.

On paper the solution is simple: you decide what and when your children eat and they decide how much.

In action the solution can bring up emotions that are best kept in check.

Frustration and anxiety are not good for digestion. If you feel anxious about your child going hungry because they don’t eat the food you have prepared for them, remind yourself that your child will eat when they are hungry – even vegetables - and because we live is a country where food is abundant, if they don’t eat one meal there will always be another one to follow. If you feel frustrated, there's no point. Sorry for not sounding more sympathetic but if you let it go and get on with enjoying your meal you are showing your child exactly what you want them to do.

Focusing and becoming anxious about individual meals and what your child did or didn’t eat is not a complete picture. Consider what your child eats over a whole day or better still a whole week.

As for the when to eat, I stick to breakfast, lunch and dinner and depending on what’s happening on the day morning and/or afternoon tea. Children’s bodies are very busy growing, morning and afternoon tea can be good times to serve some nutrient dense foods that even those who fuss at mealtimes will go for, such as a fruit smoothie or homemade dip. Grazing or snacking all day means mealtimes won’t be fun because regardless of age, a good appetite is necessary to enjoy a meal and if you and/or the children have been snacking all day who really wants dinner?

To some, what I’m about to say may sound radical or mean but it is ok for your child to go hungry. There will be another meal and they will eat.

These are my top ten 8 tips for happy meal times

1. Make time for meals. Sit together. No television.
2. From a young age involve children in preparing meals and hand over one meal a week to teenagers to prepare.
3. Give thanks for the meal.
4. Grow some of your own food even if it is only herbs, one pot of tomatoes, one pot of strawberries anything to connect your child with where real food comes from.
5. Offer fruit and vegetables many times not just once. Just because little Harry didn’t eat steamed carrots the first time they were on his plate at dinner don’t write them off totally. Present them many times.
6. Use peer pressure to your advantage. Often when eating in a group  children will try foods they hadn’t before because their friends are eating them. This is an excellent time to present a variety of fruit and vegetables.
7. Eat dinner early. This is good practice for the whole family so our bodies have time to digest before sleep. 5pm is good for toddlers and pre-schoolers, when children become tired they do not want to eat. 5pm may not be practical for teenagers or parents who are working but early as possible and if it is late then keep the meal light.
8. Stay positive and don’t be pulled into negotiating. You are the parent. Telling your child ‘no’ is ok, tears are ok and feeling hungry is ok. Trust me they move through it quickly!

I’d love to hear your tips or experiences of raising happy, healthy eaters.