This post has nothing to do with the television program of the same title, it was just a sneaky way for me to name the post and veer slightly off topic and on to the mysterious knack of keeping house with children who are still learning the 'house rules'.
I have a friend who I admire, we'll call her D, D has an almost magical ability to keep her home in impeccable order without it feeling clinical or uninviting. In fact it is just the opposite, her home is aesthetically beautiful and the order imbues it with a sense of calm making it a warm and welcoming space to be in. She has two sons under the age of 7 and you can arrive unannounced day or night and order reigns supreme.
I marvel about her to other friends "I have this friend who..." and those friends say "oh but she must spend her whole day cleaning and tidying".
I recently came clean (pardon the pun) and asked D her secret. She laughed that I wanted to know and then happily filled me in.
I thought her answer may interest you too (sorry to those who couldn't care!) I am always curious about how other people 'do' life and am eternally searching for better ways to do things myself.
D says, "I can't think clearly if the space around me is disorganised. I am just one of those people who needs things to be ordered. And no I definitely don't spend all day cleaning up".
I suggested that really all people probably function best when their space is ordered but it is the how to make that happen that is a mystery to many, especially when you have professional house messer upperers (children) to derail your order.
Here is D's strategy:
Get rid of stuff. Regularly - "less stuff = less to organise, put away, tidy etc;"
Storage - "a place for everything and everything in its place"
Morning ritual - "washing goes on as soon as I get up. Beds are made as soon as everyone is up"
Dishes - "I never let them stack up. I let them drip dry but I wash them as we go."
Toys - "I have taught my boys to clean as they go. They pack up one game before they start the next."
Sounds pretty simple, yes? Or no?
Something else occurred to me about D's secret to success: her sense of style. D has a great eye for putting things together. Some people have a natural flair for this. I'm not entirely convinced that it comes naturally to me, and I used to think that putting a lot of time and effort into how things look was er dare I say, superficial.
I've changed my mind. Creating a home that is aesthetically pleasing is not superficial, there is an organic way to go about that too by seeking out recycled furniture and fabrics rather than buying new. And because of my perfectionist tendencies I've been slow to learn that it takes time to master things, even your own sense of style and it is ok to ask for help from those you admire.
How are you at keeping house? Are you in a happy space? Or couldn't care about that pile of dishes?
I like a tidy space...and we have a specific place for most itmes....but things can get unruly from time to time. I love the school holidays because I can attend to some of the messes I ignore during term time (it's a school teacher life for me). As for interior design, I don't think I have any flair whatsoever. I'm not even sure I can identify with a "style". Old things appeal to me but I generally don't like fussy floral stuff. I don't like clutter, so maybe I'm a minimalist. And yes, I hate the dishes piling up. I wash up often, even though we own a dishwasher - drives my husband nuts :)
ReplyDeleteI've just disclosed I'm a school teacher and it appears I can't spell - oh the shame!!!!!! LOL NB...items, not itmes
DeleteMichelle I am smiling. Thanks for your honest comment and showing us teachers are human too :) x
DeleteInteresting post! I think we all struggle with this. I too function better in a tidy space, but it's not always possible especially during the school holidays. I try to always have the beds made and washing up done before leaving to go anywhere. Its much nicer to come home to a (slightly) orderly house!
ReplyDeleteThanks Tania for stopping by. I aim to have beds made and dishes done too before going out for the same reason - who wants to come home to dirty dishes and unmade beds? Not me! I've enjoyed reading through all your recent food posts. Very inspiring. x
DeleteI don't even have kids and I struggle with this. We seem to always be too busy. I naturally prefer to take time to tidy up, but my husband prefers to go from one mess to the next and then do a massive clean up later. I feel much better if I have some time once a week to at least get the house back in order (the shed is his problem, and when he complains that he can't find his tools, I don't have to say anything).
ReplyDeleteLiz it is both comforting and not to know that you struggle with this too. The not comforting part is because it is so easy to blame the children! After about a month of really focusing on clean and tidy as I go, rather than letting things pile up and then do a big clean up in the middle of the day or at the end as I have done in the past I can honestly say I am happier and more productive cleaning as I go. I totally agree the shed is your husband's domain and problem! Good luck.
DeleteOh yeah! I totally relate to you and your friend D. I grew up with a hoarder for a Dad and a clutterbug for a Mum. Yet, I spent my 20's living with housemates and learning that there are other ways to live, and discovered that I am neat and tidy and don't like to own a tonne of stuff. You know the line in the Crowded House song ".. my possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof . . . hey now...". I have no idea what that line means but when it begins to play ad nauseum in my head, I know it is time to declutter. I was both delighted and bummed by D's secret to her domesticity triumphs that you shared. Delighted because I do exactly the same but bummed because I thought there might have been an even easier way that I didn't know about hahahaha! And I like the point you make about having the ability to make things aesthetically balanced too, having a sense of style to put things together as you say. There I know I lack the creativity although I know what looks good. But yeah, the connection between the two never occurred to me. I think I will work on 'putting it together' more because surely that is more fun than vacuuming! xxx Fi
ReplyDeleteThanks Fi for your great comment. Good on you breaking the hoarder and clutter habit that you witnessed in your parents growing up. That is no small feat. Yes I feel the same delight and disappointment that there is no magic wand way of doing this. But now that I feel like I am actually on top of keeping order at my house it is easier to stay on top. Your Crowded House reference made me laugh that is funny that that is your cue to declutter. And yes researching (reading magazines, books and blogs) for inspiration on 'putting it together' is definitely more fun than vacuuming xx
DeleteFirst off, I am a new reader to your blog and am loving it already.
ReplyDeleteSecond, my home regimen sounds very similar to D's. I don't spend much time picking up or cleaning, and I think a lot of the reason behind that is simply because we only keep the basics around. No clutter or excess of stuff. It's been soo helpful and definitely makes things easier.
Noelani, hello and welcome! Thanks for your comment here I have just clicked over and visited your blog and can tell by how beautiful and orderly your blog is that your home would be too! Welcome too to the blogosphere I look forward to reading your blog and seeing it grow x
DeleteI must confess that I do am like D without order I just can't function. I suppose I find it easier too to stick to a routine of making beds as soon as I get up, when I'm packing away the groceries in the fridge give the shelves a little wipe down it takes just a couple of minutes but really in the long run is better than doing a huge clean up. I think my child care and teaching days too rubbed off on me, containers for things I find are great it may not be neat in the container but having them in a container makes everything look a lot neater. As for decorating I'm not so great I stick to minimal as I'm just not that good at putting things together, I wish I was though:) Wishing you a lovely weekend Nikki. xx
ReplyDeleteThat is a good tip Catherine to wipe the fridge down as you unpack the groceries. I am rapidly retraining myself to do things as I see them rather than waiting til I have 'spare' time to tackle it. Who has spare time?! As for decorating and putting things together I've decided the thing to do is ask a friend whose style you admire for a few tips, it is a win/win because your friend will be flattered and you learn a few new things along the way. We can't all be great at everything! Happy weekend to you too Catherine xx
DeleteI am with D. I am Ms Routine. There is clutter but it all has a place and I do return things to their place as soon as I am done with them. Consumables aren't allowed to stack up - like magazines and newspapers. Once read they're passed on or recycled. I do go slightly mad when life is busy and small piles of things start to pile up. I usually blitz over a weekend when I've set aside time to get on top of things. A lot of people live in our small house so I do try to keep on top of everyone, er, I mean everything. Well, that's not entirely true, two have moved on for lives of their own but two remain (our two messiest and let's say, not as responsible about their own possessions or respectful of other's space).
ReplyDeleteThanks Katie for your comment. It amazes me with blogging you just can't tell which posts will attract a flurry of comments and it seems this one is a popular topic. We live in a small place too which I agree makes it doubly important to stay on top of 'stuff' and owners of said stuff :) xx
DeleteI'm sure my dad has OCD...all his pegs are lined up symmetrically, his cupboards are incredibly uniform and I have never seen mess. In one house he concreted a backyard because it was neater than grass. My mum, on the other hand, was pure chaos and visiting her house was like going to a thrilling trash n treasure market. Nic-nacs and trinkets everywhere. For a year she didn't even own a vacuum cleaner. I honestly don't know how they stayed married for 17 years! I think I'm somewhere in the middle. Though I always feel more calm and focused in a neat environment.
ReplyDeleteYou make a good point here Charmaine, important not to become obsessive about keeping things in order around the house. I love the contrast you paint between the differences in your parents, perhaps it was their yin and yang balance that kept them together for 17 years! Somewhere in the middle sounds good to me. Thanks for reading xx
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