'twas two nights before christmas

"That's the stuff nightmares are made of," said my friend laughing when I told her about the party I was going to on Christmas Eve where guests are asked to perform a 'frivolous act'.

I had tried convincing River that it was going to be the perfect opportunity to play guitar in front of an audience. He had other ideas. "No Mum I'm not playing guitar, I think we should sing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer".

Talk about feel the fear and sing it anyway!

We had been rehearsing and then without warning there was a plot twist.

The week before Christmas, Sol came down with gastro. Relentless vomiting that saw him unable to keep water down. Within a few days three kilos had vanished from his little frame.

On our third trip to the local emergency department the doctor said, "I have to send you to a bigger hospital your son needs to be seen by a paediatrician."

So the night before Christmas Eve Sol and I drove the 40 minutes to the bigger hospital and he was admitted to the children's ward and place on a drip. Placed on a drip sounds so simple. It wasn't simple. It was necessary but it was also traumatic. Getting a cannula (a needle for the drip to go into) into the back of a six year old's hand is not fun especially at 10.30pm when all they want to do is be curled up asleep.

I am going to spare you the difficult details of time spent in hospital other than to say Sol is well again, just a bit on the skinny side, and that we were able to come home after a 24 hour stay. We arrived home at 8pm on Christmas Eve. The party in Melbourne had started an hour and a half earlier. I was in no shape to be at a party and Sol definitely wasn't but I thought of our friends at the party when I looked at the clock and felt both relief to be home from hospital and disappointment that we weren't in Melbourne celebrating Christmas, the end of the year and being with friends.

Sol had fallen asleep in the back of the car. The heat of the evening enveloped us. I scooped him up off the back seat and carried him inside the house. We were under strict instructions to continue giving him 30mls of fluid every 15 minutes. I set the timer on my phone and followed the orders dutifully. There was no way I was going back to hospital with Sol, he was going to get well!

He stayed awake for a couple of hours and I kept up his fluids, he then slept soundly. River had placed carrots out for the reindeer and dry biscuits for Santa (lucky Santa?!) "Mum do you think Santa is lactose intolerant?" he asked filling a glass with rice milk.

Once the boys were asleep and I had finished my midnight gift wrapping session I placed a white electric guitar and an amplifier next to the Christmas tree, a gift from Eddy Pop. Perhaps next year River can do a rock version of Rudolph.

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Stay well. Stay cool. Thankyou for reading and thanks for your patience with my on again off again posting. I hope that you are all having a wonderful festive season and are looking forward to making great things happen in 2016. xx

ps I had planned to share this link for a wonderful dairy free grain free trifle before Christmas but didn't get to so here it is now, still good for New Years Eve... Try Jo's Lemon Berry creation.

hold on to hope

Like so many, I am feeling heavy hearted and find myself crying unexpectedly as I think of the tragedy and trauma caused by the Sydney siege.

I'm dedicating today's post to Katrina Dawson and Tori Johnson, to their families and to all affected by the senseless and devastating actions of one person.

In The Australian newspaper today, Governor - General Peter Cosgrove's words resonated with me:

'We must unite in our resolve to protect what we value most - 

our way of life, our care and respect for each other. 

Now is the time for unity.'

It is also time for compassion and kindness.

It is easy to feel a sense of hopelessness and to feel like you want to do something with the overwhelming sadness and not know what.

There is something we can all do.

Dig deeper and be kinder and more compassionate to those in your community. Smile from your heart at people you pass on the street, ask people how they are and genuinely care about what they say.

This time of year can be hard enough as it brings into focus where our relationships are at, who we will spend time with, who we miss, those relationships we wish were better or different.

Hold your loved ones close and those you know who are doing it tough invite them in, your neighbour, families in your school community, it is time to care for each other.

And hold on to hope. I know it can feel futile or trite but there is strength to be found in hope.
It is there for us all to keep believing in all that is good about humanity.

Reading the accounts of Katrina and Tori's lives it is abundantly clear that they lived with passion and integrity, they considered and cared for others until the very last moments of their lives.

Regrettably we can't change what happened in Sydney but we can choose how we move forward and in doing so with care, we can go some small way to honour the loss of Katrina and Tori and indeed the senseless loss of life that occurs everyday across our world.

Emily Dickinson puts it eloquently in her poem:

"Hope" is the things with feathers on
That perches in the soul
And sings the tunes without the words
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest Sea
Yet never in Extremity,
It asked - a crumb of me.

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Amidst the busyness of December, go gently friends x

mini post: panforte christmas gift idea

**I'm focusing on finishing my ebook and have written a series of mini posts to tide you over til I'm back. Thanks for reading!** 

I make panforte each year, the mixture of spices, chocolate, nuts and fruit is heaven sent. And gluten free :)

Take a look at my archive post for the recipe.

If you have written posts about Christmas gifts to make please share them in the comments.

merry christmas

Sol and I have enjoyed fresh mango followed by a golden toasted slice of panettone for breakfast over the past few mornings. Panettone is a sweet bread, rich with butter and eggs and studded with sultanas and candied citrus peel. Originating in Milan it is traditionally prepared to celebrate Christmas. My earliest memory of panettone is as a child at my nana's house.

My nan worked as a dressmaker all her life and in the factory where she worked throughout my childhood, many of the women she worked with were Italian or Greek. My brother and I enjoyed going with my nan on some weekends to visit her work friends where we were treated to warm and generous European hospitality (ie. much fussing over because my nan's friends loved children and many treats of home made biscuits and cakes). At Christmas time my nana would bring home gifts from these women of traditional Christmas foods such as panettone.

Having a young family of my own, I am keen to create some of our own Christmas traditions. Our cut + paste tree is shaping up to be one, as is making panforte. What traditions do you enjoy with your family? Or perhaps there are some from other cultures that you admire, I'd love to hear. Creating and honouring tradition makes life richer, brings deeper meaning to our celebrations and acknowledges history and ancestry.

Speaking of my young family, River had his last day of Prep today. I was as emotional as I was on his first day, completely unprepared for the heart swelling farewell to his beautiful teacher and the acknowledgment of all the wonderful ways he has grown this year in mind and heart.

In place of a list today, I have one special link...

My friend and mentor Samantha Gowing, who is a therapeutic chef with a flair for delicious food as medicine, launched her first ebook today. Filled with recipes, remedies and wonderful stories from Sam's life and kitchen, 'The Healing Feeling' represents 12 years of her experience and knowledge. It is a wonderful resource whether you are just starting out making better food choices or whether you are well underway on the real food journey.

The title of Sam's book speaks to me because from where I sit we could all do with some healing in one form or another, and if there's one need that is a growing one for many people it is nutritional healing. So, a big congratulations Sam on putting your heart, soul and wisdom into this beautiful book I know it will be valuable and life changing for many people.

Life is different when we are well nourished. We have more energy, more mental clarity, emotional balance and connection with the earth and the people we love.

On that note, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and look forward to seeing you back here in 2013. I've decided to make this my last post for 2012 and savour each moment of the days between now and the New Year giving my full attention to my real life family and friends. Thank you my online friends for reading my blog this year, for your comments and friendship and being part of the wholefood movement. Here's to more people joining us on the wholefood path next year.

Peace and Joy to all.

Nikki xx

the art and craft of Christmas

Like most things in life, Christmas is what you make of it. It needn't be about mindless consumption, - be that of food or gifts. Each year the feeling around Christmas is different based on how the year has panned out, the people in your life, or those missing from your life. Christmas for me is a time of reflection, sharing, nurturing, remembering and celebrating being together.

On Sunday, River, Sol and I spent a good part of the day making our Christmas tree. Last year Sol slept while River and I created our cut + paste tree. This year he was old enough and interested enough to do some cutting and pasting of his own. Last year our tree was a collage tree. This year I pondered what we could do differently and I came up with the idea to create a Christmas family tree. So we went through a pile of photos that were already printed and picked out what would become our framed 'ornaments' to stick on the tree. In these times of digital photography, most of us take more photos than we'll ever know what to do with (or how to organise!) so having photos on the tree is a great way to actually enjoy the photos each time I walk past.

For me, crafting with small children is a great meditation on patience, surrender and delight. Ok, there's a pinch or two of frustration or exasperation at times. Patience while small fingers grapple with scissors and glue, surrender to their creative ideas as they burst over my own grand vision, and delight when we all become lost in the making and then stand back to admire the finished piece.

This weekend we also made very simple Christmas cards from white, green and red card cut with a guillotine (which was the exciting part for the boys) and decorated with trees and stars cut from foil. This year River was able to write the messages in the cards. Seeing his almost-in-grade-one handwriting will bring as much joy to the family and friends receiving the cards as it did to me as I watched him carefully form each letter and ask me how to spell certain words along the way.

I know for some craft and baking are not their 'thing'. Creativity though is core to the human spirit. Whatever way you spend creative time with your children, family or friends I hope that you are finding time to do so in these pre Christmas days, for me it feels so nurturing to step away from the daily demands and do a little making.

What are you making? Or not making. Do you love or loathe Christmas? How is it for you this year?

Linking up with Em at The BeetleShack

looking back, looking forward

I always enjoy this time of year, the lull of days between Christmas and New Year. For me it is a time to reflect on the year, to clear out cupboards and drawers, and look ahead to the New Year. I’m not one for making resolutions but I do like to think about what I’d do differently or the same in the New Year, and to write a fresh list of hopes and ambitions.

I spent yesterday editing the family photos I took in 2011. I have a first edit of about 280, there’s more to trim before creating an album. With the switch from film to digital photography I think fewer people print photos and instead opt for sharing them via their phones, email, facebook and online albums. I like the process of creating a hard copy album and then being able to sit and share the memories and stories without looking at a computer screen.

I hope that you have all filled up on precious moments this Christmas and that you are having the chance to get sand between your toes and feel the splash and salt of the ocean, or your version of that wherever in the world you may be.

christmas retreat

The week before Christmas is filled with activities preparing for the day to celebrate with family and friends.

So, when I decided to pack up and drive two hours from home to take the boys to my nana’s house in the countryside for a couple of nights this week I felt like there must be at least 10 things I’d forgotten to do and how could I be going away right now.

 The reality was with nana around to entertain the boys I was able to make panforte, finish writing cards and sew pants for River and Sol all with relative ease and minimal interruptions. And between cooking, sewing and writing I took walks with River and Sol in the ‘enchanted forest’ as River calls the gum tree forest on nana’s property. A little piece of bush magic…

When we return home to Peninsula the traffic will have started streaming with holiday makers. I'm so glad to have had time in this peaceful sanctuary and I hope you've enjoyed the 'escape' even just for a moment in pictures.