Five years ago, if someone told me that I would have friendships with people online I would have told them they were crazy.
Olga Dossa is a wholefood mama and friend, who I have never met in real life but whose values and approach to mothering and life resonates with me so much I wish she was my neighbour.
As those of us who spend time online know, one of the gifts of blogs is that the life experience people share has the power to be very nurturing and uplifting.
Reading another mother's story can make the piles of washing and crying children so much easier to handle with a little more grace. Well, a lot of the time anyway.
Without further ado, if you don't know her already I'd like to introduce you to Olga Dossa.
Make yourself a pot of tea and settle in for a beautiful and honest interview about the lows and highs of motherhood and what it means to 'love yourself first'.
Olga is
a yogini, mama and the founder of Peaceful Mothering with Olga Dossa. She is
committed to supporting mothers to step into their radiance by loving
themselves first and claiming their desires.
Through
her journey with postnatal depression, she learned that she couldn’t give her
best from an empty cup. She left her high paying corporate career to pursue a
life that would bring her peace and inspire her daughter to live her own
greatest life. Her great love for her daughter took her on the path of yoga,
ayurveda and self-love.
Olga
believes that when mothers love themselves first, their children will thrive.
Can you share a bit about your story and
journey from suffering postnatal depression to coming through that and the
lessons you learned that you are now so passionate about sharing with other
women? ie. to love themselves first and to live an authentic life.
My daughter was 4 months old when I went back to my corporate job.
Every fibre of my being wanted to be home with her, but at that stage, I had no
choice but to go back to work.
I was contributing to 50% of the household
income and we had just bought our first home. I would cry on the way to work
and felt totally helpless to change my situation.
It was then that I ended up
seeing a therapist for depression. Shortly after starting to see the therapist,
my mum suddenly died.
I was feeling so fragile, being a new mum, being left to
mother my daughter without the wisdom of my mother and suddenly being the
awkward matriarch of my family.
I looked very carefully at my situation and saw
the similarities between my mum and me. She had been depressed for a long time
– the type of depression that goes undiagnosed.
She was a go-getter that never
allowed herself to rest and never allowed herself to receive what she really
wanted. She lived her life for her family and sacrificed her life for us in the
end.
I realized that I had become my mum. I was working in a job that I did not
want to be in because I thought it would be for the good of my family.
I
realized that I had to change my ways, otherwise, my daughter was going to grow
up and become like me.
I realized that if I wanted certain things for my
daughter, I would have to model them. She was not going to learn anything from
what I said to her, but instead would learn everything about what it means to
be a woman, by what I did.
Please tell us how you came to yoga, why Dru
yoga and what you love about this particular style?
My second child, my son, was a year old and we had been living in
Australia for two years.
When we moved from South Africa, we had decided that I
would stay home with the children, a first step in realizing the life I wanted
to live.
Life was great, but I was tired and feeling isolated. My husband came
home at 7 pm every night and with no family around, I felt like a single mum
most of the time.
I craved yoga, even though I knew very little about it.
Something within me was telling me that it was the next step for me.
I found a
Saturday morning class and much to my family’s resistance (children crying by
the door as I left and husband wondering how on earth he was going to care for
two children for an hour and a half), I went along.
There was a lot of guilt
for leaving my family for a Saturday morning, but the pull to my commitment to
showing my daughter how to live, was stronger.
I had some tears in the car too,
again for leaving my children!!
I was to find my home in that Saturday morning yoga class. Dru yoga
is a very potent and graceful form of yoga – no headstands here! The classes
were incredibly nurturing and are specifically designed to move energy that is
blocked in the body.
All the trauma that we experience in our lives is held in
the body. If it is not shifted, it moves into the joints, moving deeper into
the tissues, muscles and then the organs, eventually manifesting as dis-ease.
Week by week I let go of the grief of my mum’s passing, my lack of confidence
in myself as a stay at home mum and my lack of self love.
Week by week I gained
confidence in myself, became increasingly grateful for my life and took my
power back.
I experienced such a profound shift in my life - Dru really saved my
life – that I decided that I was going to study to be a teacher.
Firstly, it was
just to deepen my practice, but what naturally happens when we fill ourselves
up is that we want to share it with anyone who wants to hear about it and I am
now a qualified teacher.
You believe strongly in the power of Ayurveda,
can you explain a bit about Ayurveda and how the principles of Ayurveda
influence the food you eat and feed your family?
Ayurveda is the sister science of yoga. It is known as the science
of life and has been around for 5,000 years.
I could talk about it forever, but
it comes down to living in line with our true nature.
Ayurveda recognizes that
there is no one size fits all approach to health.
Sure, there are principles
that benefit everyone, but ultimately, we each have a unique body constitution
and we are the most vibrant and alive when we live according to that
constitution.
This includes the type of food we eat, how it is prepared, the
type of activities we do, the jobs we have and the exercise we do. We are all
unique, something I am a huge champion of.
What I love about Ayurveda is that it only works when you take full
responsibility for your health and lifestyle. It is totally empowering,
something I believe in as a mother too.
My children go to a Montessori school,
an educational pedagogy that has as its basis the principle of following the
child. Children choose their own learning within a structured environment.
Ayurveda is similar in that there are principles based on what is happening
within nature that are applied on an individual basis to on each person, based
on their constitution and particular needs at specific stages in their lives.
I write quite a bit about Ayurveda on my blog, it is a big topic
that I keep learning about every day.
What food values were you taught as a child? Or
not taught?
I love this question. I was raised by Polish parents and grew up in
South Africa. Although we always had what we wanted, we were not very wealthy.
Nevertheless, my mum always valued the quality of food, something I still live
by every day.
I remember her lamenting about the poor quality of food in South
Africa, telling me about the berries in Poland and the farmers markets there.
South Africa was still very isolated because of apartheid and the food
available was catering to a South African market, which favoured fatty meat and
sugar-laden treats – something my very classy mum was not impressed with.
My mum’s taste
was much more refined and she did most of the cooking at home. We ate a typical
Polish diet, which included a lot of schnitzel, potatoes, dill, sour cream and
cabbage. Always very delicious, my mum was a great cook.
I did not taste any
take away or fast food until I was a student at university.
Poland is very cold
and people eat a diet that is quite heavy. It is a good diet for a Polish
climate, but really heavy in a warm country like South Africa.
Australia also has a hot climate and I have found that my cooking
has changed a lot, as it is difficult to eat a typical Polish diet in this
climate.
As much as I love the food from my ancestry, I find that my digestion
can only handle it occasionally and mostly during the colder months of the
year.
We do still eat a traditional Polish Christmas dinner, which is very
heavy, but we cannot let the Polish traditions go. We just fill up on digestive
enzymes before the time; enjoy it and vow to make less food next year, which
doesn’t seem to happen!
What are your favorite things to cook?
My favourite foods to cook are foods from my ancestry.
This is
something I recommend to all women. Cooking food from our ancestry awakens
ancestral memories and creates deep healing in the spirit.
I find that I don’t
need recipes when I cook Polish food, I intuitively know what to do, I feel
like I am being guided by my whole maternal lineage.
My husband is Mauritian and I see the same experience for him when
he makes us Mauritian food. He becomes so alive, is so satisfied and revels in
seeing us enjoy the food that he has made with his hands.
Explore the herbs, spices and remedies from your ancestry and start
incorporating them into your diet. I use dill in most of my food - my favourite
herb and one that I used to pick for my mum for dinner every night.
Do you have any tips for encouraging children
to eat well/dealing with fussy eaters?
I take on the Montessori approach when it comes to fussy eaters and
making sure that children eat well.
A Montessori classroom is very carefully
designed – every piece of furniture, equipment and activity is placed in the
room for a specific reason. It all has a purpose – it is called a prepared
environment. This is the structured part of Montessori; it is the hard work,
unseen by anyone, except the teacher, but the most crucial.
The children are then encouraged to look around the room and do
whatever activity they feel called to.
The principle is that children will
intuitively learn what they need and in the order that they need to. Sometimes,
children will stay with one activity for a few weeks. Teachers do not worry
about this, because that is what the child needs to internalize at that time.
When the time is right, the child moves on to the next activity - and so they
craft their own learning. This method of learning requires a lot of trust, by
the teachers and the parents.
I have seen parents take their children out of Montessori schools
because they do not trust that the child is able to guide their own learning.
It can be quite stressful when we are used to living in an environment where
everything is measurable and we feel that it is our job to step in and make
sure that children do the right thing.
This is the approach I take with our diet at home.
My job is to
create the prepared environment. I only keep food that I will be happy for my
family to eat. I make sure that we set the table for every meal, light a candle
and do a blessing as thanks for the food.
I model how to sit, how to eat and to
have polite conversation at the dinner table.
Ayurveda does not advise any
conversation that is distressing at the table, because it is too disturbing for
the digestive system.
I ask the family what they would like to eat and I make sure to
bring that into the weekly meals.
It is important that everyone in the family
is included in the decisions about what we eat; I trust that if they are asking
for something, their body needs something in that food.
At the same time, I do
not cook separate meals. If someone wants something else at mealtime, they need
to go to the kitchen and make it themselves. This rarely happens, but if it
does, I try not to get offended.
Usually, there are a few dishes on the table like vegetables,
salads, rice, and a form of protein. It is not a requirement for the children
to have everything on the table; I trust that their body guides them to eat
what it needs.
My son (who is 5) once went through what felt like months of eating
smoked oysters and crackers. He would eat his dinner and then go into the
kitchen and make himself his after dinner treat. I did not worry about it.
Clearly his body was asking for something in there.
He does not ask for it anymore. It seems that they oysters have done
their job!
Dealing with picky eaters is the same as the Montessori method – we
need to trust our children. I would rather my children are taught to listen to
the messages within their bodies than be forced to eat something that they
don’t want and start switching off the connections in the brain that are
telling them what their body needs.
That is how we are trained away from our gut instinct by well
meaning adults.
I know that the food in my home is healthy – my job is to create the
prepared environment and my children’s jobs are to make the right choices for
themselves within that environment.
Who inspires you in the kitchen - family,
friends, any favorite cookbooks or websites?
I love Ayurvedic cookbooks. The main criterion in Ayurveda is that
the food we eat is easy to digest.
The state of our radiance results from
perfect digestion.
Signs of troubled digestion manifest as stomach problems,
skin problems, fatigue, anxiety, PMS, feminine reproductive disorders and even
depression.
Ayurveda states that everything begins with the digestive system.
We can eat the healthiest, most organic food in the world, but it is of no use
if our body can’t digest it.
Food has different qualities. As an example: fresh fruit is light in
quality. Organic, unhomogonised milk is heavy in quality. Both are healthy, but
we put our digestive system under a huge amount of stress when we eat them
together. The stomach tries to digest the fruit, but it gets stuck in the
stomach because the dairy is taking longer to digest. So, the fruit starts
fermenting in the stomach and none of the food can digest effectively.
This is something I did before I understood the energy of food. I
used to give my children fruit and yoghurt all the time, because I thought I
was doing what was right for them. My daughter used to complain of a sore
tummy, to such an extent that she ended up in the doctor’s office. They
couldn’t find anything wrong and prescribed her constipation medication.
She started feeling better within a day of us starting an ayurvedic
diet and has not had tummy issues again – seriously!
A basic rule of thumb is that less is more. There is no need to
overload the system with lots of complex super foods because we are so anxious
to get our micronutrients in.
This is especially true if we are sensitive in
nature, because our digestive system will mirror that.
Be gentle with your body
and she will thank you.
If I use a Polish cookbook, I try to adjust the recipe to be easier
to digest, or I eat it as my main meal at lunchtime, because that is when the
digestive fire is strongest.
What is your go to meal when you are short on
time?
If you read my blog, or follow me on Instagram ,
you will know that Mondays are Moong Dhal Mondays.This Ayurvedic recipe is simple, easy to digest, ready within 30 minutes and
the most requested meal in our home.
What are you loving about your life right now?
I am loving all the work that I am doing in supporting mothers to
step into their radiance.
I committed to doing this work on my 36th
birthday this year, which was in August.
Since that time, I have launched my
first School for the Radiant Woman (http://olgadossa.com/the-school-for-the-radiant-woman/)
and have deepened my teachings to be more focused on supporting women.
I am so excited to be holding my first New Year New You workshop on
2 January (http://olgadossa.com/new-year-new-you/); this will be a full day of letting
go of the old and creating a life that is totally in alignment with our highest
purpose. I believe that mothers hold the key to the future. Our desires are so
important and it is our responsibility to bring them forward.
I am also writing a book and the mini version of it will be
available on my website soon, it is called “The Real Purpose of Motherhood” and
it is the most beautiful thing I have created to date!!
The other thing I am super excited about at the moment is that I
have taken up ballet and my daughter and I recently performed in our first
concert together. She wanted to do ballet because she saw me doing it - our
children want to be like us and I am so proud to be modeling this for her.
Olga's Ayurvedic Adzuki Bean and Sweet Potato Stew
This is my daughter’s favourite recipe. Adzuki beans are high in protein
and as long as they are soaked well before cooking, are easy to digest for all
constitutions.
Ingredients:
·
1 cup of dry adzuki beans, soaked for a couple
of hours.
·
One red onion, sliced.
·
One large sweet potato, diced.
·
A thumb sized piece of ginger, grated, or cut
into thin slices.
·
One tablespoon of ghee.
·
One teaspoon of ground coriander.
·
One teaspoon of ground cumin.
·
One teaspoon of ground turmeric.
·
One teaspoon of fennel seeds.
·
Half a teaspoon of ground cardamom.
·
Half a teaspoon of Maldon salt, or to taste -
more if you feel like you need grounding.
·
One tablespoon of basil, chopped. Replace with
chopped mint if it is Summer.
·
Half to one cup of coconut cream.
·
Fresh coriander and lemon halves to serve.
Method:
·
Bring adzuki beans to a boil in 4 cups of
water. Let it simmer for about 40 minutes or until soft. Add more water if
necessary, the beans soak up a lot. Add sweet potato in the last 20 minutes of
cooking, or 10, if you prefer for them to stay quite firm.
·
In a frying pan, melt your ghee (or you can use
coconut oil on really hot days).
·
Add your onion and ginger and sauté on a medium
heat until onions are translucent.
·
Add spices and stir for a few minutes until
fragrant.
·
Add onion and spice mixture to stew in the last
5 minutes.
·
Just before serving, add coconut cream to warm
through.
·
Serve with fresh coriander and lemon slices.
