Monday is the day I veer off topic and write about something other than wholefood...
I had coffee yesterday with a friend I hadn't seen in a long while (yes I still drink coffee from time to time. soy milk too! that's a whole other post). It was so good to see her, so good to have a full conversation without our beautiful 5 children around. We covered the usual suspects: our kids, our husbands, creative dreams + projects, yoga, wholefood, junk food, ipads, santa, farmer's markets, naturopaths, doctors, life out of the city...
It is so nourishing to step out from the demands of family life and just be, this is obvious to say but sometimes it doesn't always feel possible or easy to do. Carving this time out for yourself when you're a mum is an art but one that becomes easier with practice. Something I've had to change is to actually speak up more and tell my darling husband what it is I want to do.
For my whole motherhood journey (actually make that for my whole life) I have felt that I have had to be supremely capable and that asking for help was admitting defeat. Crazy I know, but slowly slowly I have come to realise that that habit doesn't serve me or the people around me. By asking for help I give someone else the opportunity to step in rather than me being so fiercely self-reliant which makes no sense when you have perfectly willing and capable husband (aunts, grandmother, mother-in-law, friends) standing by like I do!
Last week I started meditating again after a long break. Ten minutes a day is my goal. Ten minutes a day won't see me rivalling the Dalai Lama for enlightenment anytime soon but I know it will bring some much needed clarity to my over-active mind and it is in stillness that the biggest insights arrive. Well, that's my experience anyway.
So while the Dalai Lama remains in an enlightened league of his own, little old me would like share with you today some of life's simple secrets that we all know but sometimes elude us. I am hoping that this list will serve as reminder to you if you are feeling a bit off track at the moment and as an affirmation if you are feeling perfectly placed.
To be vital, peaceful, joyful, creative, loving beings it serves us well to...
Meditate
Give thanks
Breathe fresh air
Move your body everyday
Give thanks
Spend time in nature. Often.
Walk barefoot. Today.
Give thanks
Drink filtered water
Eat real food
Give thanks
Reflect
Journal
Give thanks
Know that you are enough
Meditate some more
Give thanks
Dance
Draw
Give thanks
Have faith + courage
Laugh
Give thanks
Sing
Paint
Give thanks
Listen to your body
Be kind to yourself
Give thanks
Repeat
What would you add to this list? Tell us in the comments...
Oh this is wondeful nikki! I'd add to play....to keep the child alive within. Thank you so much for sharing. This is just what I needed to read. Hope your week is wonderful xx
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Steph, your comment is just what I needed to read! Both to hear that this post was helpful to you and because I agree it is important we stay connected with our playful childlike self. You too have a wonderful week you clever creative lady x
DeleteSewing! I have PND and sewing really helps me. One thing and another means I have let it slide in past month. very bad. resolved last night that, with help of husband, i shall have 30 minutes sewing related every single day. and 15 mins alone time each morning. i must try and meditate. great post and very timely for me. thank you :-)
ReplyDeletePam! you read my mind. As I finished the list I thought of sewing. There is something about the wonderful craft of sewing that is so meditative. Except when your sewing machine chews up what you are sewing which happens to me from time to time :) I'm sorry to hear you have PND I hope that you are being well supported, sounds like you are from your husband and that you are putting your self-care at the top of the list. With the meditation, sometimes I do a walking meditation I go for a walk and clear my mind and if a thought comes into my mind I just say 'thinking' and let the thought float out again. Thanks for stopping by x
DeleteOh Nikki, I love this, it's going up on my blog's 'good reads' right now. Not sure I would add anything, apart from spending one-on-one time with our loved ones – our partners and our children. So important and I don't do it enough. Much love to you xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Vanessa for adding me to your good reads. So true what you say about one-on-one time I love it when it happens, the key I suppose is making it happen! I think I will go back and update the list with readers suggestions. Heading over to visit you soon to comment on your big news post about homeschooling! Wow. You are a braver woman than I, good on you for trusting your gut and going with what is right for Luca and your family xx
DeleteHi Nikki, I love your list. I have recently been focussing on treating myself better in many ways. I think as mother's we have a tendency to put ourselves last and (for me at least) this means I am not the best mother I can be. I found having my second daughter (12 weeks ago today!) has made parenting exponentially more difficult, however, the positive outcome of this is that I teaching myself to be kinder to me.
ReplyDeleteA couple of things I would add to your list would be reading and crafting.
I am a huge literature buff and felt sad and despondent when I realised that I had stopped reading daily. I now make sure I read as I give Delphi (the newest daughter) her feed before I go to bed. Some days I get a few pages read, other days it's a couple of chapters... either way, it fulfils me.
Crafting is just as important. I have always loved to knit, embroider, sew, paint etc and have started incorporating it into my daily routine during the girls' nap time. Some days it means I skip housework, but I have learnt not to care about the dust or messy kitchen! It will all get done eventually.
I have recently returned to yoga after a break during pregnancy and am loving getting back in touch with my body and exploring the changes in it now that I have had two pregnancies (and at two it will stay!) and am approaching my mid-30's. I have been thinking of taking up meditation, perhaps aiming for a 10 to 15 minute 'sit' before the rest of my family awakens. Now that the weather is warming up, I have a beautiful hill on my property that I can sit atop and enjoy the early morning sun whilst mediating and completing a yoga practice. Do you have meditate using any aural aids?
Anyway, I really loved this post. It definitely spoke to me . I hope you're going well and your family is flourishing. Luna. xx
A huge congratulations to you Luna on the birth of beautiful Delphi. I have just popped over to your blog and see that she is well totally lovely! And might I add, you are a genius knitter!! That beanie you knitted for your sister would take me the rest of my life to master something like that. Thank you too for linking to my blog in your wholefood post and for being a regular reader here and on facebook it is heartening to know that what I write here is resonating with people and that you don't find my wholefood talk 'preachy', nothing more off putting than a holier than thou approach to food! I used a CD for meditation when I was pregnant but I haven't been using one for my 10 minute one which I have been doing straight after I put my boys to bed at night. The silence is blissful. Enjoy many pages of your book and many snuggles with that babe of yours, a very special season of motherhood you are in there xx
DeleteThis list is pretty right as is...I'm just adding 'stop to take in the view' and 'kiss the man of the house' lol. Loving all your photos Nikki...are you happy with the new camera?
ReplyDelete:) kiss the man of the house - love it! The camera and I are getting to know each other, still quite a way to go me thinks, nice though to be able to share photos here again. Thanks for your words and in advance for patience as I attempt to 'master' the new camera. x
DeleteOh i loved this post so much lovely one, thank you for the focus, the grounding. I would add spending time with loved ones, it is so nurturing, necessary and makes my heart grow. xxx jay
ReplyDeleteThat's a pleasure dear Jay. xx
DeleteI never realised how busy I actually am until I compared what I do in a week with what other mums do in a week and found out I was exhausted. Time out for me is reading a book... and there have been very few books finished lately. x
ReplyDeleteI have an unread novel sitting on my shelf that a friend gave me two months ago. Perhaps if I wasn't reading so many blogs I would have more time for book reading! x
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